


No Fly Zone

by Fides



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Humour, M/M, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, mmom, mmom 2010, mmom 2010: day 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-09
Updated: 2010-05-09
Packaged: 2017-10-09 09:20:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fides/pseuds/Fides
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clear communication is an important part of any relationship. Dean and Castiel are boned - or possibly not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Fly Zone

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so, so sorry. I have no idea of where this came from.

Sam answered his phone without looking at the caller ID, too busy comparing the protection rituals described in the three books open in front of him. He grunted acknowledgement, more interested in the minute differences between two of the lithographs, than screening his calls. Only two people had his number and the most likely candidate was Dean confusing him with a burger and pie delivery service again.

"Sam?" Make that three people. He'd forgetten he'd programmed it into Castiel's mobile, Dean normally relayed any messages and given the choice Castiel would always call Dean.

Sam frowned. Castiel would always call Dean. "Cas? Has Dean left his phone off again?" He'd thought that they had been planning on meeting up that afternoon - it was one of the reasons that he had made himself scarce.

There was a pause at the other end of the line and Sam could almost see Castiel considering that question

"I do not believe so," he said at last. There was another pause before Castiel admitted, "he requested that I not talk to him at this time."

Sam rolled his eyes. He thought the thing they had going on was great, really he did, and sarcasm aside he hadn't seen Dean that... happy... in a long time, but there were times... "Do I want to know?"

"I do not believe that is a question I can answer without..."

Sam wasn't totally convinced that Castiel didn't do that literal thing just to buy himself time to think. But then one of them would make some pop-culture reference and he would see the honest confusion on the angel's face and forget his misgivings.

"Stop," he said quickly. "Does this involve my brother and sex - in any way - because that definitely falls in the 'don't want to know' category."

They'd all learned that lesson early on. For someone who spent a lot of the time totally silent, Castiel really didn't know when to shut up. Or the relative appropriateness of different subjects of conversation. Sam's one consolation was that Dean had found that lunch even more embarrassing than he had. And he hadn't seen the group of girls in the booth behind him creasing up with laughter.

"Ah." A pause again. "In which case I do not believe that you want to know."

Sam waited for the angel to continue. He didn't and Sam was beginning to feel a little foolish, like he was playing a game of won't-hang-up-first with his brother's boyfriend only no one had told him.

"So why are you calling me?" he prompted, as much to check that Castiel was still there and he hadn't just spent the last minute listening to the silence of a disconnected call as anything else.

"I wanted to ask you a question." There were times that Sam honestly believed that Dean had got exactly the person he deserved in Castiel - and he didn't mean that in a good way.

"Which is?"

For a long moment Sam wondered if this entire conversation some prank of Dean's for which he had to keep prompting Castiel's replies. Then the angel cleared his throat said "I am now unsure whether it would fall into a category you have indicated you do not wish to discuss." Which didn't totally disprove the theory although it did make it more unlikely.

"Does it involve Dean and sex?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"Dean is only peripherally involved."

Like Lucifer was only peripherally involved in the apocalypse. Sam sighed. It was no good - some things you just had to deal with.

"Go on... I can always make Dean pay for it later." And he would. He really would.

"That is what I wished to ask you about," Castiel was speaking more swiftly now, sure of himself again. "I did not believe it was common for one partner to give the other permission seek sexual gratification with another in the event of a misunderstanding."

That was not what Sam had been expecting. Nor was it really a question. Sam pulled the last bit of his attention from where it had kept drifting back to his research and concentrated totally on the conversation. All jokes aside, Castiel and Dean were good for each other. At least Castiel was good for Dean and that was what Sam cared about. He wasn't going to let his idiot brother mess it up just because he tended to shoot his mouth off.

"Uh Cas - Dean and strippers - it's just a thing. I really wouldn't worry about it. I mean, don't let him tell you that you have to let him do anything, but you have to know it's all talk." Castiel had to know that by now. Dean talked a good game but his dry spell when it came to humans was rivalling Sam's longest and Sam didn't think that there were any angel strippers out there that Castiel needed to worry about. Although if Dean accidentally slept with Gabriel then Sam wasn't forgiving him either. "He wouldn't actually do anything with anyone else. He won't say it, but he really likes you."

And please God, wherever he was hiding, let that be enough because Sam had plenty of things on his plate without adding relationship counsellor to the pile.

"I like him as well," Castiel said carefully. "However I believe you have misunderstood. Dean told me I should engage in an carnal liaison with a number of ladies of his acquaintance until he had 'cooled off'"

"I'm happy for you both." And Sam meant that sincerely. Then the second half of Castiel's statement deciphered itself. "Wait - What!?"

"Ah. I was correct in thinking that this was unusual behaviour."

There was something very wrong going on. Sure, Dean liked to have a little time to himself to blow off stream now and again and there had been that incident at the brothel, but that was before there had been anything going on between them. At least Sam was pretty sure it was. It wasn't like the pair of them would be found anywhere in the dictionary near the definition of subtle. The only reason he wasn't panicking was because he was pretty sure that Castiel would have spotted it Dean had been enchanted, mojo-ed or replaced by a skin-walker. It had to be a mistake because the only other reason that Dean would say something like that was because he wasn't so much 'cooling off' as doing something incredibly stupid and wasn't sure he was coming back at all.

"I'm going to regret asking this - what _exactly_ did Dean tell you? And feel free not to give me all the details."

\---

The question hadn't really been a surprise. Sam was out somewhere being geeky and Dean had stepped out of the shower to find Castiel waiting for him. Kinky angel had been watching him wash and somehow Dean was fine with that. He was less fine with Castiel's suggested use of their time while they waited for Sam to return.

"Look Cas - it isn't that I don't like the idea... just not now." That sounded a bit weak, even to him. "I don't know how long Sam will be. You know what he said after last time..."

Castiel looked at him and Dean knew that look. It was the type of look that said 'I am an Angel of the motherfucking Lord - respect my total badassness'. Although in this particular case it was probably closer 'Dean, why are you stubbornly refusing my offer to help you experience true ecstasy and completeness through the repeated application of my cock to your prostate?' Or he could be projecting. He swallowed, throat suddenly dry even in the steamy atmosphere of the post-shower bathroom. It really wasn't that he didn't want to. It really, _really_ wasn't. Michael - waaay easier to say no to especially when Castiel looked at him like... well, at all, really.

"This isn't anything to do with Hell," he explained quickly in case Castiel was worried. "Or masculine identity or any of that crap that Sammy spouts on about. Or..." Dean paused, suddenly realising that Castiel hadn't said anything. "Why aren't you arguing with me about this?"

Castiel expression shifted minutely to 'human's are strange and frustrating - especially you'. Dean'd seen that one a lot in the early days - not so much recently but there were some things you didn't forget.

"You have said you do not wish to engage in intercourse at this time," Castiel pointed out as if it should have been immediately obvious. "I respect your decision."

That was a first. And, yeah, Dean appreciated the fact that Castiel wasn't pushing it (although, dude, a little attempt at persuasion just to make a guy feel wanted would have been nice), but damnit...

"We can do something else," Dean offered, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he suspected he did. "I mean it isn't that I don't want to fool around, y'know. You know me - always good to go."

Reaction to that suggestion was minimal - not that Dean expected much else. He thought that there might have been a slight warming in the eyes as Castiel said "If that is what you wish."

"You're good with that?" Perversely that made him antsy because it shouldn't be this easy. It was just when you thought everything was going fine, that the other shoe tended to drop and you just know it would be a doozy.

But Castiel just inclined his head in acceptance. "Of course Dean."

Dean was still trying to work out what was wrong with that when Castiel stepped forward, crowding into his personal space and demanding his full attention through sheer presence. Thinking was overrated. Especially when the alternative was kissing his angel.

"Bedroom," Dean croaked. Castiel's shirt was nearly out of his pants and his tie was even more askew than normal, only rivalled by his hair. Not that he looked much less debauched - he'd lost his towel somewhere along the way which was all good, although, for the sake of Castiel's clothes, it was probably lucky that angels came Teflon-coated by default. Otherwise he'd be leaving snail-trails of pre-come across the dark of Castiel's trousers like an obscene X-marks-the-spot reference point. He led the way but Cas was there first, suddenly sprawled on the bed with a stiff awkwardness which suggested he was aware of the concept of seductive poses but hadn't really got to grips with the practical application. He was naked, however, which a definitely something Dean could get behind. Figuratively and literally. That was Dean's angel in all of his sexy, nerdy glory. He wouldn't have it any other way.

Dean bounced onto the bed, crawling up the length and over Castiel, pinning him with his body. He couldn't not grind down against Cas' hips, erections rubbing length to length in both tease and promise. Castiel ran his hands over Dean's back, fingers and occasionally nails stroking and scratching over his skin. He arched into Castiel's touch as he traced the line of his ribs or danced, helter-skelter, down the ridges of his spike to the nub at the base. Shaping the firm muscles of his arse (not that he blamed Cas, his arse was damn fine, if he did say so himself) and pulling him more firmly flush against Castiel's body. The hands didn't move away though, digging into the smooth flesh in firm caresses.

"So sex - just not sex," he said around a kiss because some of those fingers were getting a much friendlier than he wanted, and he needed to be sure that Castiel understood where this was going and it wasn't there.

The kiss stopped and Castiel frowned up at him.

"Sex - just not..." Dean made a gesture with his hand which was not the easiest thing to do when leaning over your boyfriend on the bed. Luckily Cas could not only take a bit of extra weight but could decipher most forms of communication (the mind reading probably helped a bit when it came to Winchester communication although, Dean had noticed, not so much as one would think).

The frown deepened. "You wish to 'top' again?"

"No," Dean said immediately and then realised that was a lot of a lie. "I mean yes." Although possibly not as much of a lie as he would claim if pressed because it was the difference between 'then' and 'ever'. "But that's not..." He needed to get this back on track now because the confusion was making his cock wilt and the only reason he wanted to be soft when he had got anyone, but especially Castial, into bed was because all parties concerned had come their brains out and were either passing out or taking a break before the next go around. "How about blow jobs? You like blow jobs."

Castiel inclined his head, a slightly odd gesture when he was lying down. Dean wasn't sure if he was agreeing with the statement, the suggestion or both.

There weren't really any graceful ways to crawl around on a bed but sex wasn't meant to be graceful - it was meant to be hot and messy and fun. Dean was still having more success getting Castiel to comprehend the 'hot' than the 'messy' and the 'fun' was very much a work in progress. Not that the actual squelchy orgasm-inducing goodness of it wasn't all those three things and more - it was the rest of it. Dean had never thought he would be the one who worried about foreplay or, for fuck's sake, the mood. After all, horny was a mood. He was pretty sure he still had a dick, it was at that very moment tapping against his belly in a reminder to hurry the hell up, so he hadn't turned into a girl but he had found himself occasionally worrying that Castiel had interpreted the supposed prohibition about not laying with a man like a women to mean that fucking was fine but you couldn't cuddle afterward. Or, for example, enjoy undressing each other slowly. On the other hand, he had the one and only example of angel dick he approved of right in front of him waiting for him to stop staring at it and get with the sucking. He could do that.

He was just enjoying seeing if this angle let him get as much of Castiel's cock in his mouth as he thinks it will when he feels Castiel's hand's creeping up his inner thighs, massaging the taunt muscles where he's holding himself balanced. Higher and Castiel's thumbs run over the tender flesh where leg and groin join, almost ticklish but not quite. Dean wants to concentrate on how good it feels - Castiel's hands and his mouth and the solid weight of him on Dean's tongue and stretching his lips. Wants to, but can't.

He pulls off, barely enough to say "Just don't get too... inventive" with every intention of going right back to what he was doing. Castiel isn't exactly small and so he has a lot of ground to cover and only so much mouth to go around.

"Dean." Dean has the irreverent thought that Cas' voice has a lot in common with his cock - outwardly soft but hard enough to pound nails underneath and able to stop one particular Winchester in his tracks. It was a voice that demanded respect. A voice that could turn Dean inside out and put him back together.

There was just no way that they could have any kind of conversation that didn't just include the words 'yes', 'more', 'there!', 'harder' with the occasional pet name and expletive throw in while he was eye to eye with Castiel's third eye and two inches from tea-bagging him in return. He rolled off to the side, sitting up to find that Cas has done the same thing and they are staring at each other across the bed. How someone stark bollock naked could look so imposing Dean wasn't sure. But then Castiel could look imposing in a lacy red thong. He knows this from experience, one which they won't be repeating. For all his jokes, angels with their undies in a bunch - amazingly not as funny in real life when the confused and irritated angel in question is in his face. Castiel had only forgiven him when he'd kissed it better. How knew he would enjoy apologising so much?

And on the subject of looking smite-y, Castiel has ratcheted it up to the 'cower puny mortal and explain your impudence' which Dean only likes when it has an implied 'kneel before me and suck my cock' on the end which is looking increasingly unlikely.

"Okay, okay," he conceded unhappily. It's just is fucking embarrassing and if the angel was half as clever as he thought he was then he should have figured it out without Dean needing to tell him. "It's just you had to pull us out of that last fight and..." Dean made a rotated his hand in a think-it-through gesture while Castiel continued looking blankly at him. Dean gave up, throwing his hands in the air in disgust. "Look, flying by Angel Air just doesn't agree with me, okay?" he ground out, angry suddenly. "So, yeah... just _not now_. Are you following me here?"

There was a horrible pause where Dean thought he might have to break out flash cards. Castiel's head tipped, just a little, as if he is trying to make sense twisted contents of Dean head and is having trouble getting a good look. Like maybe Dean's soul is off fifteen degrees and that makes it hard to read. It could explain a lot.

"I believe I understand," Castiel said slowly as if he had solved one of the great mysteries of the universe (which, admittedly, Sam had compared Dean's digestive system to on a few occasions). Dean thought he detected the hint of smugness as Castiel continued, "the problem is easily rectified."

That was not what he had been expecting to hear. "Rectif... Cas? What are you..." He batted at Castiel's hand but not fast enough to stop the angel touching two fingers to his forehead. For a panicked moment he wondered where Castiel thought two naked men suddenly appearing would not result in screaming, police and unfortunate calls to Sam to bail them out and how Castiel thought that would help. Then he realised that they hadn't actually moved. Something was different though. "Fuck Cas, what did you just do?!"

For his expression Castiel was apparently revising his estimation of Dean's intelligence even further downwards. "I removed the problem."

Dean stared at him speechless. A very nasty suspicion beginning to form in the base of his gut.

"Dean?" Castiel prompted.

Dean shock himself off, anger beginning to burn away the shock. "Is that how angels..?" He couldn't complete that thought although his mouth was running on without his brain controlling it. "You just mojo..." No - he wasn't going there. He couldn't quite believe that Cas _had_ gone there. Okay - he could believe that because Cas had a really fucked up view of personal space and he probably shouldn't have been surprised that extended to _really_ personal spaces. He'd never thought to question why Castiel was so uninhibited in bed? He'd just enjoyed every second of it and counted himself lucky. That should have been a clue right there. But... this was just _wrong_ "Cas," he took a deep breath to calm himself down, "you don't just do that to someone! If I wanted an Angel-enema I'd have asked. Did you hear me asking?"

Castiel was looking at him, all little-kitten-lost but not in the slightest bit cowed or sorry. "We are not going to have intercourse now?"

\---

"He informed me that if I should require sexual gratification in the foreseeable future that I should solicit the services of a Mrs Palm and her daughters..." Castiel's voice came serious as sin over the phone. "Sam..? Why are you laughing? Do you not also find Dean's sudden advocation of incest disturbing? Sam?..."


End file.
